Need advise how to cope my current situation?

I am a mother of 3 my kids r 14,10,and 8. Recently my hubby had and affair with my friend and both families found out and had thrash out. After that they r not suppose to communicate or anything whih i believe they still do. But wen i confronted that girl for y she continued this relationship we exchanged vulgarity and ending up quarreling she quickly called my huuby and cried to him that i scolded her in vulgarity and my hubby came bck home and packed his clothes and left. Now it has been 2 days i went looking for him, today i saw a note in my office tale which says pls do not look for my i will be back myself nad u may fight as anyone u like.I am blurr he did not even think that there is no money at home for m and kids and just left like that and now everyone is blaming me that because of me he left i really thinking wher is all the love he had for me and kids and i cried in church today i cant believe that my huuby has done this to me i am dwn and feel like ending my life as loser